How to Know What Your Values Are: Identify your 5 personal values

How to Know What Your Values Are

Before we dive into how to know what your values are, consider this hypothetical situation.

Imagine you’re having lunch with your friends. One of them suggests that instead of going home after the meal, you all go to the movies and see the film everyone’s talking about. 

You listen to her suggestion and notice everyone agrees, nodding their heads and sipping their sodas in unison. 

But you’re not feeling it. Besides, that movie doesn’t interest you, and there’s plenty of work waiting for you at home. You also have an early dinner date with your family and don’t want to risk arriving late. 

At the same time, you do enjoy your friend’s company. And you don’t want to miss out on the fun they are sure to have at the theater. You also feel peer pressure to join the festivities. 

So what would you do? 

If you know what your values are, the choice is clear, and you will declare it. On the other hand, if you don’t know your values, you will fold under pressure and betray yourself. 

What are values? 

Values are the core principles that drive your decisions. Everyone has values, yet many haven’t identified their values. But if you pay attention to what you do and why you do it, you can discover them.

There is no such thing as a good or bad value. Values have no inherent hierarchy. They are simply guideposts that focus your choices and direct your decisions. If one person values adventure while another person values financial independence, one is not inferior. The difference is personal. 

Your upbringing, personality, and purpose help determine your particular code of ethics. As you age, some values will take precedence over others, but generally, your core values are consistent throughout your life. 

How to identify your 5 personal values

How to know what your values are: Step 1

The first step to identifying your values is answering a few questions:

• Who do you admire and why?
• What achievement are you most proud of?
• What excites you? 
• What do you mostly do in your spare time?
• Describe how a perfect day for you would flow. What would you do? Where would you go? Who would you be with? How would you feel?
• What do you want people to say about you when you’re not in the room?

Answer these questions truthfully and thoroughly. If you answer honestly, your values will surface quickly. 

How to know what your values are: Step 2

Read your responses. What keywords keep repeating? What are some commonalities you notice? Based on your answers, what is important to you?

How to know what your values are: Step 3

Browse through a list of values and allow your values to reveal themselves. Trust your intuition and use your response from step one as a guide. Write down at least five and no more than ten.

List of Values

How to know what your values are: Step 4

Prioritize your list by assigning each value a number. The higher the number, the more critical that standard is to you. 

How to know what your values are: Step 5

Identify your top 5. Reflect on each one, recalling instances in your life when those particular values have guided your behavior. 

Congratulations!

Now that you’ve identified your top five values, it’s time to use them intentionally. You have the tools to be true to yourself; to make wise choices; to take action with confidence. Whenever you find yourself wavering between making a decision, allow your values to guide you. When you know who you are and what’s important to you, making decisions becomes a lot easier. 

So about that luncheon…

When you find yourself at lunch with your friends proposing to extend the time of fellowship, allow your values to direct you. If your top five include family or achievement or excellence, then politely take a rain check and go on with your business. If friendship, fun, or excitement are among your core values, then make arrangements to finish your work and connect with your family at a later time. 

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